Empathetic Listening – An Eastern Perspective

‘When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.’  The Dalai Lama

It is September 2024 and we are within 2 months of the presidential election in America.   By the way – I live in a battleground state.  The “spend” on political ads in my home state of Pennsylvania is unbelievable and partisan politics is “front and center”.  I would love to say that this has led to a more well informed voting public but unfortunately, that just isn’t the case.  At this point, the sides are hunkering down, they are closing their minds and god-forbid you have a different point of view from your neighbor. 

My wife and I took one of our grandchildren out for a walk this past weekend in a neighborhood near Reading, Pa.. Our grandson was in his stroller and the neighborhood was somewhat hilly so we moved at a very leisurely pace.  In this nice neighborhood we observed both Harris and Trump signs on the front lawns.  As we were walking, I began to wonder if neighbors with different views on the election would ever be “neighborly” again.  Folks, this is a sad state of affairs and we need to be better!

In an article found in BDG (Buddhist Door Global) entitled, The Dharma of Listening and Speaking, Part One, the author Hozan Alan Senauke makes the following statement about our ability to listen to each other: “The sad state of public discourse in the West is in large part because many of us are often listening to our own opinions, searching for views and words that we agree with, dismissing other perspectives.  I catch myself doing this all the time.”  

Do you do that; do you listen to find ways to validate your own thinking?  I know for certain that I do.  Plain and simply – it is easier!  It really does not take a great deal of effort to exchange ideas with someone that has the same opinion as you.  The trouble with that is we will never learn when we don’t accept the challenge of being open minded and listening to ideas that challenge our opinions.

In the article previously cited, Senauke references a lecture by Shunryu Suzuki Roshi.  Roshi, a Soto Zen monk and teacher, founded the San Francisco Zen Center.  Here are the words of teacher Roshi: “When we listen to someone, you should give up all your preconceived ideas and your subjective opinions; you should just listen to him, just observe what his way is.  We put very little emphasis on right or wrong or good and bad.  We just see things as they are with him or her, and accept them,  This is how we communicate with each other. Usually when you listen to some statement, you hear it as a kind of echo of yourself.  You are actively listening to your own opinion.  If it agrees with your opinion you may accept it, but if it does not, you will reject it or may not even really hear it.”

During this contentious time, take a moment to open your mind to a different point of view.  Opening your mind to differing views not only allows for growth, it also shows respect for others.  

Your Thoughts Please!  Tom

Images courtesy of Midjourney.